NOBODY WILL WATCH THE F*CKING TONY AWARDS WITH ME - Rachel Bloom
This is what I go through every year.
Purchase Song on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id88584...
Starring Rachel Bloom
Written by Rachel Bloom and Jerome Kurtenbach
Directed and Edited by Greg Burke
Director of Photography: E. Gustavo Petersen
Featuring: Danny Jolles, Lou Perez, Emma Koenig, Jessica Haymond, Tess Paras, Nate Clark, Greg Burke, Shelly Slocum, Emiana Slocum, Ayla Slocum and Dan Black
Song Produced by Jack Dolgen
Orchestrated by Jerome Kurtenbach
Sound: Adrian Yarbrough
Makeup: Rachel Olsen
Pizza by Danny Jolles
Lyrics:
WHO WANTS TO WATCH THE TONY AWARDS THIS YEAR?
DO YOU WANNA WATCH THE TONY AWARDS THIS YEAR?
IT'S LIKE IF BASKETBALL WERE INTERESTING
OR THE OLYMPICS HAD NATHAN LANE!
IT'S LIKE THE OSCARS IF THE ACTORS HAD TALENT
IT'S KINDA LIKE THAT ONLY SO MUCH BETTER!
Ugh, what kind of pizza is this?
It's gluten free.
You people are terrible!
I KNOW WE BROKE UP, BUT DO YOU WANNA WATCH THE TONYS THIS YEAR?
You fucked my brother.
DOES YOUR BIG DICKED BROTHER WANNA WATCH THE TONY'S THIS YEAR?
IT'S LIKE IF BIRTHDAYS ACTUALLY HAD ANY MEANING
OR YOUR WEDDING WAS WRITTEN BY STEPHEN SONDHEIM
IT'S LIKE IF YOUR NEGLECT HADN'T DRIVEN ME TO YOUR BROTHER
WITH A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY THE CAST OF THE LION KING!
I THINK IT'S TIME TO ASK MY MOM.
TONYS? No!
Enjoy your nursing home!
I'LL PUT A PERSONAL AD ON CRAIGSLIST.
I'LL DO IT IF I CAN WATCH YOU SHAVE.
I COULD ASK MY TWIN IF I HADN'T STRANGLED HER IN THE WOMB. Fosse!
Hey Rachel, I just saw your Facebook post about the Tony Awards and I'd love to watch them and catch up!
Oh, you know what? The Tony Awards were canceled.
What?!
Yeah. Broadway exploded.
What?! What do we do?
There's nothing to do. Bye. Ugh. She's so weird.
WHO WANTS TO WATCH THE TONY AWARDS THIS YEAR?
THIS GUY WANTS TO WATCH THE TONY AWARDS THIS YEAR!
I LOVE THE TAP!
I LOVE THE WITTY BANTER!
MY FRIENDS MAY BE TRASH
AND I MIGHT BE A SOCIOPATH
BUT TONYS -- I'LL WATCH YOU EVERY YEAR!
