Today's 100% Guaranteed Horoscope!
Using the latest advances in the art of astrological science and prediction, I am able to deliver this 100% accurate horoscope. Using this incredible method, there is no further need for checking the "signs" in other places. The truth isn't just out there. It's right here.
Have you ever found yourself reading your horoscope and thought to yourself, "Holy cow! This is totally bang on!" Well, prepare to be amazed as I wield my magic mystical mumbo jumbo and deliver to you, for this day (and every day), a 100% totally accurate horoscope. Satisfaction guaranteed!
Note: I've been experimenting with the Descript video editor and thought it might be fun to do something short and silly. This is it!
