“He threw me on the bed and pulled my pants off” Stories of childhood sexualized violence survivors.
Last year we began talking about violence against children in their families. Upon diving deeper, we realized that sexualized violence, which is violence carried out through sexual means or targeting sexuality, is a separate large and complex topic.
Talking about it is terrifying, but necessary. Especially now, when, given the situation in Russia and Ukraine, violence (including violence against children) is at its peak. We had a talk with the victims who found it in their hearts to share their stories, and with experts working on this topic.
Remember, you are not alone.
Foundations and NPOs, where you can find help:
Center "Сёстры" - ”Sisters” is engaged in crisis counseling, informing and supporting survivors of sexualized violence, as well as their loved ones on the helpline +7-499-9010201 (mon. to sat. from 10 AM to 8 PM, Moscow phone) or by crisis e-mail [email protected]
You can also support the violence victims and contribute to the Center’s development at: http://donate.sisters-help.ru/
Consortium on female non-government associations
https://wcons.net/
/ womensconsor. .
VK https://m.vk.com/wcons
“Тебе поверят” - ”You will be believed”
https://verimtebe.ru/
https://teen.verimtebe.ru/
Map of “Насилию нет” - ”Violence.net” help centers
https://nasiliu.net/karta-pomoshhi/
THANKS TO THE MUSICAL PROJECT “МНЕ СНИТСЯ” - ”I DREAM OF” FOR THE SOUNDTRACK
Мне снится – Стена / I dream of – Wall
YouTube: @romandorofeev9228
Vk: https://vk.com/mnesnitsya_ili
Tg: https://t.me/mne_snitsya
You can find me on:
Telegram "Петя любит жить!" - ”Petya loves life!”: https://t.me/petyaploskov
E-mail: [email protected]
TIMECODES:
0:25 - What is this episode about?
0:48 - Why did we decide to proceed with the sexualized family violence topic?
1:53 - Varya and Ruslana talk about themselves
2:46 - Varya on sexual harassment from her stepfather
3:34 - “It is time that you had a look at the male body”
5:29 - “I cannot tell you exactly how many times it happened”
6:10 - “He forced to me perform fellatio on him” – Varya about what was happening to her when she was 4
6:22 - “My life can be divided into “before” and “after”” – Nastya on her childhood
7:37 - Nastya talks about the rapes
8:00 - Why is it specifically called “sexualized” violence rather than “sexual”?
8:57 - Why shouldn’t you use the term “victim”?
10:12 - Nastya on whether her mom knew.
12:00 - «Well, he didn’t fuck you, did he» - Varya talks about her mother’s point of view
12:50 - ADVERTISEMENT
14:12 - Center “Сестры” - ”Sister” on sexualized family violence statistics
16:58 - “A child is often an easy victim”
17:46 - “For me, he is just an asshole” – Nastya describes her stepfather
19:30 - A summarized portrait of a rapist
20:15 - “They are the sweetest people with others”
22:18 - Ruslan’s story. Varya exits the room so as not to listen to it
23:24 - “Everything was fine until I turned 9”
24:25 - Ruslan talks about the rape
26:28 - “Threw me on the bed, pulled my pants off”
27:38 - Are boys subjected to violence and why is it talked about so little?
31:06 - “Why are you lying to me? Nothing happened”
31:43 - A lawyer on what norms regulate the problem
33:35 - Why it is important tell exactly what happened
34:05 - Varya on why she did not try to bring her stepfather to justice
35:32 - Nastya talks about how she decided to sue and the status of her case
37:27 - A lawyer on why it can be difficult for violence survivors to bring their case to court
38:13 - “I was raised by a manipulator”
40:00 - Nastya on the help from Consortium on female non-government associations
40:45 - Ruslan talks about how life punished his stepfather
42:50 - The consequences of sexualized violence on psychological well-being
44:12 - Varya talks about the consequences
46:25 - Nastya about the psychiatric diagnosis
47:18 - What influences how hard a child will be traumatized by violence?
48:02 - “I hit my girl-classmates” – Ruslan on the consequences
49:50 - Action procedure if you survived violence (legal part)
51:01 - Why should material evidence be stored in paper bags?
51:54 - “We can’t air our dirty laundry” – Varya Kuchuk about her relatives’ reaction
53:12 - 14 years of colony for the stepfather
53:56 - Where to look for shelters and crisis centers, if you are in danger?
54:32 - Can the sexualized violence trauma be healed?
55:55 - Nastya on what helps her to hold on
56:22 - Varya and Ruslan on how to reduce the amount violence in our society
57:38 - “It is not a death sentence” – expert from “Тебе поверят” - ”You will be believed” on how to cope with and what to do if your partner is a childhood violence survivor
58:39 - Legal regulation problems
59:45 - Center “Сестры” - ”Sisters” on what will help us as a society to conquer the problem of violence
1:00:01 - Is there a place for love after the experienced violence?
1:01:32 - Findings
