What do I do if I find out my preteen watches porn? | Planned Parenthood Video
Caught your kid watching porn, or suspect that they might be? Learn tips on how to handle the porn conversation in a calm, healthy way with your preteen.
Watch more Planned Parenthood videos → videos.plannedparenthood.org.
Visit the Planned Parenthood WEBSITE: plannedparenthood.org
Like Planned Parenthood on FACEBOOK: facebook.com/PlannedParenthood
Follow Planned Parenthood on TWITTER: twitter.com/PPFA
Follow Planned Parenthood on INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/plannedparenthood
Follow Planned Parenthood on TUMBLR: plannedparenthood.tumblr.com
Planned Parenthood is the nation’s leading provider and advocate of high-quality, affordable health care for women, men, and young people, as well as the nation’s largest provider of sex education. With more than 600 health centers across the country, Planned Parenthood organizations serve all patients with care and compassion, with respect and without judgment. Through health centers, programs in schools and communities, and online resources, Planned Parenthood is a trusted source of reliable health information that allows people to make informed health decisions. We do all this because we care passionately about helping people lead healthier lives.
Transcript:
Pornography is more available and accessible than ever thanks to the internet — anybody who can get online can find it easily. Most kids see pornographic images or videos for the first time between the ages of 8 and 11. It may be an accident, or they may just be curious.
Since porn isn’t appropriate for preteens, it’s a good idea to monitor what your kids are looking at online. You can keep your computer in a family area or use parental controls on computers, tablets, and phones.
If you find out your kid has seen porn, here are 4 tips to help you talk with them about it.
Tip #1: Don’t Panic
Do your best to stay calm and not freak out. It’s normal for kids to be curious about bodies and sex. Getting upset in the moment could send the message that they can’t come to you with questions or for help.
Tip #2: Find out what they know
Ask them how they came across it - was it by accident? Through a friend? What did they see and what do they think about it? Ask if they have any questions, and give simple, straightforward answers.
Tip #3: Get clear on your values
Take the time to think about what your values around porn are. Maybe you think porn is ok for adults, or only ok in certain circumstances. Whatever values you share with them, make sure to use clear language and make sure they understand what you’re saying.
Tip #4: Give them the facts
There are some things adults know about porn that young people may not realize or understand. Tell them that porn sex and real-life sex are different. Porn is a performance, where people might change the way they look, what kinds of sex they have, or what noises they make for the camera. Real-life sex is not about performing, it’s about connecting with someone. Porn actors are also generally consenting behind the scenes through a contract and discussion, which you don’t see. Consent is always a must in real-life sex. Also, while birth control and condoms are usually not in porn, they’re essential in real life.
It’s natural for kids to be curious about sex. And there’s no question that it’s very easy for them to stumble on porn. So talk with your kid often — so they know they can come to you for help.
Want to learn more? Go to plannedparenthood.org/parents
